I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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