She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
