I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
