I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
