that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
