So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
