The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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