my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Panties = found
Randomize
