He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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