I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
