I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I understand Curling. That high.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
