is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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