false alarm. still invincible.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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