I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
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