Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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