if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Randomize
