So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
i now understand why vodka
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
