Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
