weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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