my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
