Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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