Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
