So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I think I died a long time ago.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
