Banned from zoo.
Again?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
