then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
