i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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