Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
