it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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