Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
