Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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