I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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