Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
