Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
