my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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