so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
