I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
