I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
