So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
