Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
