Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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