So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
