i would punch a child for taco bell
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
