It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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