Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
My life is pants optional.
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