i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
