Three words: puerto rican gang bang
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
