Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
