She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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