it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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