yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
