I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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